My first Crossfit Comp August 2013
I may or may not have mentioned before that I hated working out and was so self-conscious when I did workout that I limited myself in what I did so I did not look stupid. I was so concerned about people judging me on how I looked that I would literally workout in hidden places so I was not seen. And you might wonder how did I develop the confidence to be a trainer? Somehow I got it into my head that even though I was afraid to be seen, I wanted to help people. Through that alone I slowly, but surely worked out of my mind that I looked weird working out. But let’s go down memory lane shall we…..
Alright, memory lane. The picture above is from my twin sister’s engagement party in the Summer of 2009. I am in the polka dot dress next to the bride (the MOH position). That is the heaviest I have ever been, I believe I weighed in at 161 lbs. I was personally not in a good mental place at this time and was not eating very healthy at all. I was not at this time working out regularly either.
This next picture is from May 2010 at my sister’s bridal shower. I had been getting more and more into my work which included teaching multiple group exercise classes a day and my endurance was not that great, so I was swimming more, and doing a lot of TRX and resistance training to get in shape for my sister’s wedding. I look leaner here, but I was still eating whatever I wanted, so I was not gaining or maintaining my muscle mass as well. I also was very stressed out with personal matter still at this point in my life, so I would lose weight and gain weight just like that.
Flash forward two years to July 2012. That handsome man next to me is my now husband, but in this picture we were getting ready to go to a gala and celebrate our 1 year anniversary together. This man is who helped me become more focused and eat better. At this point we were 3 months into doing Crossfit, and we both felt like we were accomplishing so much after such a short amount of time. It was a month after this we started eating Paleo. When we did our first Paleo challenge I weighed in at 158 lbs and 28% body fat. 9 weeks later I was down to 148 lbs and down to 23% body fat and up 5 lbs of muscle. This picture above I felt strong and beautiful, which at times is a lot for me to say.
Flash forward another 2 years to our honeymoon. August 2014 and the husband and I are 2.5 years into Crossfit, both of us have lost weight and gained a lot of muscle and eat so much better than we ever used to. I am now no longer afraid to look awkward while working out, and I am probably the loudest person at Crossfit during our 6am class. And I also am the most open about celebrating when I do something big, like hitting a new PR, so my fear is gone. I am not as afraid to try new things. But what I see in this picture is a sense of confidence that I did not have 5-6 years ago. When you surround yourself with the right people, like I did with my husband and my Crossfit family, they grow on you and support you through thick and thin. So no matter what your support system is, listen to them, use them as motivation to get out of any hole you might find yourself in. I have said it before and I will say it again, YOU can do anything you set your mind to. So try it. GO for it, do not hold back.
So the moral of the story is that we all start somewhere and we all take our own journey into feeling comfortable and confident in who we are. Now whether that pertains to exercise or with your job, just surround yourself with good people, not people who belittle you, laugh at you, or talk down to you, they are only going to be toxic to you. Good people make for a good you!